gospel of Thomas 92

Jesus said, "Seek and you will find. Yet, what you asked me about in former times and which I did not tell you then, now I do desire to tell, but you do not inquire after it."

Seek and you will find. This is one of the most quoted sayings from Jesus. It must be reported in the other gospels too, not only by Thomas: seek and you will find.

On the spiritual path this can be taken to mean, seek God and you will find God. Or to put the same thing in different words, seek truth and you will find the truth; seek enlightenment and you will find enlightenment. But enlightenment, truth and God are one and the same thing. Whatever you feel your spiritual quest is seeking, it all boils down to this same thing.

And Jesus is saying, seek and you will find. It's a bold assertion. Because it's not entirely clear, to the seeker, that he will find. In fact, most seekers go through periods when they feel it's an impossible quest. But here Jesus is encouraging his disciples: seek and you will find. Seekers need this sort of encouragement. The journey can be long and arduous. And at times seemingly hopeless. So a master such as Jesus – one who has reunited himself with God – can encourage others on their path.

But I have a slight hesitation in affirming this statement by Jesus. Because in the end, the seeking itself does not result in one finding, in the way we normally think about these words. Seeking is an effort; seeking is a search, in which we leave no stone unturned. We look everywhere, try everything. And yet, we do not find by looking.

What we find is that no effort on our part will yield that which we are after. No striving, no trying, is going to bring about what we want. So what the seeking really gives us is a new understanding about life, and about how the essential nourishment that we need comes to us. It is not through our effort. It is given to us, out of grace, by existence, by God. And only when we have realised this for ourselves, through our own fruitless efforts, then do we find. But it's in that giving up – which is the dark night of the soul – it is by going through that, that we finally find. But that comes at the end of seeking, when we have sought everywhere and tried everything.

So seeking does not allow us to find what we are looking for in the normal way. It is not like losing one's car keys and searching for them and finding them. No. It's a different process. But that's rather complex. And it could be rather off-putting for seekers, because the seeking is an important part of the process. It's only by seeking, and looking everywhere, that we know that God is not hiding in those places. People can tell us this, but it only becomes our own truth through that seeking.

So the seeking cannot be avoided. It is needed. And eventually we will find. But not directly because of the seeking; rather in this indirect way.

Jesus goes on in this little saying, reported by Thomas. He says there was something that the disciples had been asking about earlier, and he had not told them then. Now he's ready to tell, but they don't ask anymore. Now, I don't know exactly what Jesus was referring to here, but there are many mysteries that are revealed to one on the spiritual journey.

And nowadays, in the West at least, we have an attitude of freedom of information, where everyone can have all the information that's possibly available, regardless of how young or old they are; regardless of whether they have done their homework to understand that information. So times may have changed a bit. But nevertheless, it is very clear that there are some things which can only be understood when one, as an individual, has experienced certain things.

It's like trying to describe what enlightenment is: the only person who can really understand the words is another one who is already enlightened. But he doesn't need to understand in that way. He doesn't need the words.

I don't think in this little saying, Jesus was talking about enlightenment. My feeling is, he's still encouraging disciples who are seeking. He's not saying, you lot are already enlightened and so you're not asking about it anymore. Rather, I think he was referring to some specific questions, and perhaps encouraging the disciples to go back to those questions – for now they are ready to hear what Jesus has to say on those matters and take some further steps on their journey.

We can't know exactly what Jesus was referring to. But it gives us food for thought. And it's good to appreciate that there are some mysteries on the spiritual journey which can only be revealed to the individual at the appropriate time. There are stages; there are phases of growth. It's a complex process. And if it's all revealed with the first step, it won't make any sense. And some of it will be too frightening, too off-putting.

For example, enlightenment requires you to lose your sense of self, as an individual, as a separate being. That's the last thing that most people want to do. And if all the focus is put on that at the beginning, it might put people off taking the journey. But approaching that in stages, it's less scary.

And that's just one small example. So don't be worried, on your journey, if a master seems to be concealing something from you. He's just looking at you and assessing that you're not yet ready for that. The time will come, but it's not come yet. Have some patience.

And when a master indicates, like Jesus is here, that now you're ready for some information that will help you take another step – when a master says something like that to you – then be open, open to take that next step.